From Intended Parents to Actual Parents:
Starting Your Journey on the Right Footing
However you prepare yourself mentally for this event, becoming a mother or a father triggers a tidal wave of emotions. Nothing truly gets you ready for this experience.
Considering this, there are physical things you ought to do as intended parents to avoid being overwhelmed right after you and your newborn are back home. Let’s make this momentous transition smoother.
In this post, we offer some advice from experience. This will help you prepare your home, from setting up your nursery to your last minute preparations. Kind of a short guide to celebrate your little one’s arrival. Dive in and let’s get your home ready!
1. Early Preparations
Gotta start some place, and better start with the preparation steps requiring more time and research. Once you do the heavy lifting, the rest will look trivial.
Preparing your nursery room
Because the preparation of a nursery room requires a lot of work, this is our first step: selecting a room that is suitable for your baby. It must be quiet, let natural light in, and be capable of maintaining a stable temperature in summer and in winter.
Think accessibility too. Is this room close to your bedroom? Will it be easy for you to go feed your newborn in the middle of the night? If your baby monitor suddenly rings, how quickly will you be able to reach the crib?
What if you don’t have a spare room? Many parents sleep with their newborn in the master bedroom. Then you will have to think about arranging the layout of your room for convenience and accessibility.
Where will you place the crib relative to your bed? Will both parents share the task of feeding the baby during the night? On which side would it be better to position the crib for immediate reach? Where will you place the changing station? Your baby’s change of clothes?
All things to be carefully considered and mapped out months before your whole world changes.
Alright. Now you have picked the room. What’s next?
How About Furniture?
We know we need a crib and a mattress, and we will also have to have a changing station for these dirty poopy diapers. And since we will feed the baby during the night, better be comfy in an armchair.
Crib: Prefer a crib that is JPMA-certified. Big word just to say it is an optional certification that manufacturers get to show a higher level of quality. For the crib construction, we recommend intended parents to choose mesh sides because they offer good air circulation and enable you to see the baby from the side of the crib. As you know, some countries make safer products than others. If you can afford it, buy American, European or Japanese. You want to be certain that the paint has no toxic element.
Mattress: You know that babies are exposed to the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). No one exactly knows why this can happen to a child but we know for sure that we can eliminate certain sources of risk. Choose a mattress that fits snugly within the crib, with no gaps around the edges. That’s definitely something you want to take care of.
Your baby diapers will leak. Most crib mattresses are waterproof but check that it is the case of the mattress you choose.
Changing Table: Your changing table ought to have safety straps and be of a comfortable height. You will carry your newborn a lot. If you need to bend every time you change her diapers, your back won’t like you very much. Spare yourself the chiropractor, pick furniture with the right height.
Nursing Chair: Select an armchair in which you can feed and rock your baby comfortably, with back support, maybe even a footrest. Who likes to stand with a baby in one arm and a bottle in the other at 3 AM? This will become your favorite piece of furniture.
Storage
Dresser: Here is a good advice for first-time intended parents. Opt for a dresser with rounded corners and soft edges. If you plan to use the dress as a changing table, check out the height. Is it at a comfortable height, or do you need to bend forward? Size-wise, does it integrate well with the dimensions of the room?
Shelving: Use shelves and cubbies for storage and easy access. Baskets help organize smaller items like socks, bibs, and toys.
Closet & Bins: Maximize space and organize it with dividers to separate clothes, shoes, and accessories.
Lighting
Main Light: Pick a soft overhead lighting for general illumination. If your lights are LED and you have a dimmer, make sure the dimmer is compatible with LED to avoid the lights to flicker.
Task Lighting: You will need a dimmable lamp or a night light for nighttime feedings and diaper changes.
Decorations and Accessories
Curtains: We sing the praise of blackout curtains because they keep a room dark, so your baby won’t wake up with the sun.
Rugs: Adds warmth and comfort to the nursery room with a rug. We would recommend a rug that is thick with a non-slip backing: the last thing you want is to trip with your baby in your arms.
Don’t forget Safety?
Baby monitor: If your baby sleeps in a different room than yours, you definitely need a baby monitor. In our experience, good monitors have these 3 features: (a) high-quality video and audio; (b) reliable connectivity; and (c) two-way audio. Here is a product that has all three characteristics.
Night light: Believe us. If you are first-time intended parents, when your neewborn wakes you up every night to be fed, you will feel very, very tired. That’s when accidents happen. Keep a night light plugged in at all times to illuminate your nursery room whenever you enter it.
Temperature Control: The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that you keep your nursery room at a comfortable range of temperature between 68°F and 72°F. See to it that your AC vent does not blow directly on the crib.
Prepare Your Bathroom
Make these items a priority and start researching about them well in advance to buy quality products.
Baby Bathtub: The baby bathtub must fit well in your bathtub (or sink). Some models come with an insert that cradles the baby and keeps them secure. Here are some examples:
Non-slip Bath Mat: Place non-slip mats inside and outside your bathtub to avoid a catastrophe. Here are two examples:
Storage Bins or Shelves: They will come handy to keep all bath items organized and easily accessible. They’d better be waterproof and have a lid, and also small enough to fit in tight space. Here is a good example:
Prepare Your Kitchen
Organize Your Fridge: When you feed your newborn, you will want the food available for convenience and speed. Organize your fridge to separate anything that is baby from the rest. This will reduce the time you waste seeking for the items you need.
Designate a Baby Care Area: Set up a specific area in your kitchen for baby-related items. This can include bottles, breast pumps, baby formula, sterilizers, other feeding supplies. Keep these together in an easily accessible area (e.g., a lower cabinet or a section of your countertop). Use drawer dividers to keep things tidy. Example of storage dividers
Use Clear Storage Containers: Store bottle parts, nipples, and pacifiers in clear containers with a label. This will make it easy for you to find what you need quickly without having to rummage through drawers or cabinets.
Kitchen Utensils: Purchase a baby food blender, bottle brushes, baby spoons, and anything else needed for baby feeding. Example of blender for baby food.
Get Your Car Ready to Carry a Precious Life
Take the time necessary to select a good car seat. Some characteristics to look for:
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- Rear-Facing Design: If you believe the American Academy of Pediatrics, put your child in a rear-facing seat to maximize safety.
- 5-Point Harness: Keeps your baby safer.
- Side Impact Protection: Safer baby seats have side impact protection.
- Ease of Installation: Baby car seats with a LATCH system (Lower Anchors and Tethers for Children) install more easily. They are also safer than a seat belt to anchor the seat.
- Comfort: To smooth out the ride for your baby, don’t skimp on head and body support. Select a seat with thick padding. Prefer breathable fabric, easy to clean.
- Stroller Compatibility: Can the seat click easily into a stroller base? Believe us: if your baby fell asleep in the car, this is not a good time to wake her up when you transport the seat from your car to her stroller.
- Air Travel: Do you think you could be flying to some destination in the next year or so? If you can afford an extra seat and would rather not travel with your baby in your lap, purchase an FAA-approved car seat.
All this research and preparations will take several months to complete. If you are first-time intended parents, take our advice: start early. Don’t procrastinate: things will happen quicker than you think.
2. Stuff you do a bit closer to D-Day
Your surrogate mother is nearing the end of her pregnancy. It’s time to make those last-minute decisions.
Here are a few things to prepare a month or so before your surrogate mother’s expected delivery date. Believe us: doing this will save you frustration when you come back home with your baby and you feel overwhelmed with what’s going on.
3. A month before
Declutter & Clean up: Do an all-out sweep of your home to make sure it is clean and clutter-free. Double-check your nursery room, the crib, the curtains.
Set up the Baby Monitor: Did you buy one? Have your SO test that it works as expected.
Arrange Pet & Child Care: Ask your best friend, your aunt, your mom to look after your children and pets while you are at the clinic. If your surrogate mother experiences labor difficulties, you will be stuck there longer than just a few hours. You probably don’t want to hear that someone needs you at home right away.
4. Fifteen days before
Install Your Car Seat: Have your S.O. install the baby car seat, solidly anchored to the rear seat.
Stock up: Did you buy your baby supplies (diapers, wipes, baby clothes, basic toiletries, etc.)?
Avoid cooking chores: Honestly, you will probably feel overwhelmed at the beginning. Lighten your load: cook a week worth of meals ahead of time, and put them in the freezer.
Who to contact in case of emergency: Don’t set yourself up to stress unnecessarily in an emergency situation. Review the list of persons you need immediate access to if something does not go according to plan: your immediate family, your GP, your pediatrician, a nearby pharmacy, your pastor or rabbi, your dog sitter… Communicate this list to your folks.
5. Last few days before
Pack Your Clinic Bag: If you haven’t already, pack a bag for the time you will spend at the clinic. Bring the baby going-home outfit, blankets, diapers, anything your pediatrician recommended.
We think it is a good idea to pack snacks, sandwiches, fruits, and water… just in case your surrogate mother experiences a long labor.
Relaxation and Mental Preparation: Take some time every day to relax and to prepare yourself mentally for the changes ahead. Talk with your S.O., uncork those emotions, don’t keep things in. Meditate, pray if you are a believer.
Gift: Thank your surrogate mother for the work she did to carry your baby safely all this time. Though she was paid to do so, wouldn’t you agree the life she is about to give birth to is priceless? Even small, a gift is a beautiful blessing when chosen and given with love.
Think photos and video: Is your phone fully charged and do you have your charger with you? Some life-changing moments are about to happen, be ready to click on this shutter!
It’s time!
Our Wish for Intended Parents
We hope this list will have helped you organize your thoughts and efforts. Los Angeles Surrogacy has been working with intended parents for many years now. We take care of our intended parents to make the surrogacy experience more comfortable, less challenging.
This is a huge step for anybody. It can be overwhelming at times. Be sure we will support you from beginning to end, in all aspects of your journey from intended parents to actual parents.
Don’t hesitate to call us or contact us via form if you have any questions.