Myths and Misconceptions
Gestational surrogacy is a medical process that is becoming common place in western societies for individuals and couples desiring a child, but unable to conceive.
In itself, it stands at the confluence of quasi miraculous medical technology, the timeless urge of the human race to perpetuate itself, and the stunning capacity for selflessness of remarkable women.
However, like any innovation with far-reaching implications, gestational surrogacy is subject to undeserved albeit understandable criticism rooted in myths and misconceptions. This article purports to dispel some of the most common. We aim at encouraging surrogacy candidates to reach-out without shame.
What is Gestational Surrogacy?
Gestational surrogacy is a process whereby an embryo created through in vitro fertilization (IVF), is implanted in a surrogate’s uterus. The surrogate does not share any genetic link with the child she carries. Beyond the clinical definition, surrogacy is a profound emotional journey.
It is a collaborative path embarked upon by hopeful intended parents and a compassionate surrogate mother. The latter chooses to support the former in bringing a new life into the world. This journey is not just a medical process but a deeply rewarding experience. It brings together individuals with a shared dream of creating a family.
Myth 1: Biological Connection Between the Surrogate and Baby
One of the biggest myths about surrogacy is the belief that the gestational carrier shares a biological connection with the baby she carries. This misconception stems from a lack of understanding of the surrogacy process. In gestational surrogacy, the embryo implanted in the surrogate’s uterus is not genetically related to her. It is created using the intended parents’ sperm and egg, or those of chosen donors.
This scientific process ensures that while the gestational carrier provides the nurturing environment for the baby to grow, there is no genetic link between them maintaining clear boundaries from the medical standpoint. Additionally, the absence of genetic bond is part and parcel of the legal and contractual framework under which both partied interact.
Myth 2: Emotional Attachment of the Surrogate
The fear that a surrogate will become emotionally attached and want to keep the baby is a common concern. Surrogacy agencies conduct thorough screenings including psychological evaluations to ensure that potential surrogates understand their role and the emotional implications fully.
Gestational carriers enter into the surrogacy agreement with a clear mindset and a compassionate intent to help the future parents experience parenthood, not to keep the baby for themselves. Their primary motivation is often the fulfillment of witnessing the joy of new parents meeting their baby for the first time.
Myth 3: Surrogate Autonomy and Rights
There’s a myth that surrogates are at the mercy of whatever the intended parents want. This is far from the truth, both parties are represented independently by legal counsel to negotiate the terms of the surrogacy. The gestational carrier has the right to make decisions about her body and pregnancy with all parties.
Mutual agreements are reflected in the binding Carrier Agreement Contract. This ensures that the surrogate’s autonomy and rights are respected throughout the journey.
Myth 4: Living Arrangements of the Surrogate
Contrary to the comical portrayals in movies like “Baby Mama”, surrogates do not live with the intended parents. A central requirement for becoming a surrogate is having a stable living situation.
Gestational carriers maintain their normal lives, families, and homes, providing a healthy environment for the baby’s development while being supported emotionally and financially by the intended parents and surrogacy agency.
Myth 5: Financial Motivations of Surrogates
While surrogates receive compensation, suggesting that money is their sole motivation is a gross oversimplification. Many women choose to become surrogates out of a genuine desire to help others build their families. They are often inspired by a personal experience of the joy of motherhood. The financial aspect supports the surrogate’s commitment and well-being throughout the pregnancy.
Myth 6: Surrogacy Is Only for Celebrities
Although celebrity surrogacy stories sometimes make headlines, they only represent a fraction of those who choose this path to parenthood. Surrogacy is an option for a diversity of people, including those who face infertility issues, single parents, and LGBTQ+ couples. Various financial planning and assistance programs make surrogacy accessible to a wider range of individuals, debunking the myth that it is exclusively for the wealthy or famous.
Myth 7: Bonding with the Surrogate Baby
Many worry that using a surrogate will impede the bonding process between the parents and child. However, bonding is a unique and personal journey that can begin in various ways, including during pregnancy and immediately after birth. Surrogacy arrangements often allow intended parents to be involved throughout the pregnancy and present at the birth. This facilitates early bonding moments such as skin-to-skin contact. The baby recognizes and bonds with the parents through their care, love, and attention, establishing a deep connection regardless of the gestational process.
Like any path less traveled, surrogacy is fraught with misconceptions and myths. By understanding the truths behind these myths, we can appreciate the beauty and complexity of the process as a legitimate option to bring a life into this world and build a family.
Begin Your Journey Today
The journey of gestational surrogacy is a testament to the extraordinary lengths individuals will go to bring joy and fulfillment into each other’s lives. As society continues to evolve and understand the nuances of different family-building avenues, it behooves us to dispel myths and share the realities of surrogacy. Knowledge, understanding, and compassion are the greatest allies of the women considering undertaking the remarkable journey of a surrogate.
If you’ve been touched by the idea of gestational surrogacy, our agency is here to guide you every step of the way. Our experienced Parent Intake Team is more than just a resource. They are a group of compassionate individuals dedicated to helping you understand every aspect of the process. Whether you already have questions or are just starting to explore your options, let us invite you to reach out to us.
Please fill out the surrogate application form provided and someone from our team will connect with you to discuss your project and motivations. If you decide to go forward, Los Angeles Surrogacy will ensure you have all the information and support you will need throughout. The path to becoming a parent through surrogacy is a journey of hope and love: you won’t have to walk it alone.
Additional Resources
Gestational Surrogacy: What Is It, Process, Risks & Benefits